How I set ADHD-friendly New Year ‘Goals’ (without crying)

Ahh Twixmas. The notoriously hellish time for an ADHD-er.

The lack of routine. The enticing leftovers. The sudden, imminent pressure to ‘get your act together’. Again.

Fortunately, I’ve always loved this time of year: it’s a properly restful, reflective and rejuvenating period for me. And for someone who has only ever worked (or been) in education, I’ve grown accustomed to this two-week block of down-time.

And what I’ve come to understand post-diagnosis is that this novel no-man’s-land chunk of time helps me to function.

It’s a time where I can bury myself in a pile of self-help books and fill up my brand-new notebook, which helps me to evaluate how far I’ve come; something that can get lost in the whirlwind of a working week.

But I can also reset my compass and re-assess what is really important to this updated version of me, rather than blindly follow the routines and habits that have failed to serve me in the previous year.

Obviously, not everyone is as lucky as I am to have space and time to luxuriate in self-reflection... but here are a few things that help me approach this period in a light, fluffy, stress-free way that works for my brain.

1.        Bin off consistency

“I will go to the gym EVERY Wednesday for the next year”.

Yeah right.

Of course you will… until you have a particularly low mood week, difficult day at work, or circumstance outside of your control that stops you from getting there. And then you’ve broken your streak, let yourself down and everyone down because WHY CAN’T I STICK TO SOMETHING…

So you don’t set foot in the gym for the rest of the year. And it’s only February.

Get rid of ‘every week’ or ‘every day’ as the stick you beat yourself with, if you know it’s not going to work for you.

2.        Make it visible, not measurable

Did you know SMART Goals only work for 25% of people, neurodiverse or not?

So many people use smartwatches, habit trackers etc., to track their progress, but also force themselves into accountability. And while these can work for a while, they often lead to a shame spiral (as depicted above) if you miss the odd day: I’ve definitely lied on a Fitbit food tracker before!

Not only that, but part of the reason you can’t stick to a goal is because you forget about it, or why it’s important to you. And also, logging your entire workout is another boring admin task.

The winner with my clients? A sticker chart. The promise of dopamine, in the form of a sparkly, pretty, pink unicorn sticker, is enough motivation to do the boring, ‘consistent’ thing that’s good for you. And then you have something in front of you – on your fridge, or pinboard – that is evidence of your ability to stick to something. That pretty pink unicorn is a physical representation of you smashing your limiting beliefs.

3.        Change your language

Notice how your body feels when you say the word ‘goal’.

Tight chest? Shoulders raised? Restricted breathing?

Often, ADHD-ers associate ‘goal’ with ‘failure’ – something we’re used to avoiding at all costs.

Now, articulating your goal is unfortunately very important – you can’t win at darts if you can’t see the bullseye. But if ‘goal’ brings you out in hives, try ‘intention’ on for size.

E.g., “This year, I intend to have a 5k month in my business.”

Don’t hit it? No sweat, it was just an intention. But at least you’ve tried, you’ve got your data about why it didn’t happen, and you can therefore adjust the intention based on that info. It feels more flexible, and therefore, more realistic to our butterfly brains.

4.        Make it playful

The queen of self-help, Jen Sincero, first helped me overcome my perfectionism. In her book (and my bible) ‘How to be a Badass’, she toys with the idea of letting your beginner self sit alongside your more experienced self. This is because the beginner is a lot more forgiving, less critical, and a lot more focused on having fun.

So instead of procrastinating setting your goals, because ‘what if I set them wrong’, do them in the least serious way possible… and just get them done.

Write them on a post-it, do it on Pinterest, say them out loud to yourself while on a walk, or a beach… they don’t have to be set in stone. Take the pressure off and let yourself dream.

5.        Remember… ‘different’ isn’t ‘wrong’

If you’re new to diagnosis, doing this process differently that before may feel unnerving. But be honest: how was the old way working for you?

The challenge with being late-diagnosed is that you’ve only ever done things the way neurotypicals have, because that’s what you’ve had access to. But you have more data on yourself now, you know what DOESN’T work, and there are loads of tools – and many more to come – to help you adjust to this new reality.

Try to approach this, again, in a light-touch way; what if I tried a sticker chart? What if I set flexible intentions? What if I didn’t wait for it to be perfect for me to be happy?

You never know what will work for you until you try what’s outside your comfort zone.

Hopefully, these five tips can help you approach this season with self-compassion; you don’t need the perfect notebook, digital planner, or diet plan to ensure your success. Success comes from following your passion and purpose in the way that works for YOU… not in the ways your favourite influencer, most admired friend or hyper-critical family member find fruitful.

If you’d like some support on uncovering your goals, or embracing your neurodiversity, please reach out for some 1:1 coaching – you can book in for a discovery call via the home page of my website. I so look forward to working with you!

Happy New Year in advance, and all the best for 2026,

Alice xox